I love it

I wrote this when I was 12. Hope you like it. Tell me any errors you find in it and I will fix it. READ ALL OF STORY BEFORE ROLLING DOWN!!


The love, the entertainment… I loathe it.

At the same time… I love it.

Why do I love her? Why can’t I stop? It’s our anniversary. Ever since highschool we had looked out for each other, loved each other. But now? I feel like I shouldn’t rely on her anymore… I shouldn’t be with her… Or should I? Is there anything wrong with relying on somebody? No… this isn’t relying on somebody… This is obsessing with something…

“You look sad.” she said to me. “Can you remember what day it is today?” she asked. “Of course. Please… let me go outside. I need to think for a bit.” I said. “Oh? Getting a present for a certain somebody?” she said, with a matter-of-factly tone. “…-- Yeah. Just give me some time.” I replied. “It’s okay, I’ll allow it.” She said, on a closing note.

I went outside. I was walking through the bustling streets. Suddenly, the crowds got less dense. What am I doing? Why am I still with her? Why can’t I just say no to myself? I don’t know. There were no people around me anymore. I was lost. I didn’t recognise this street. I turned around to see two bright lights.

I woke up in a white room, with a lady dressed in white next to me. I could remember exactly what happened. I’m an idiot. Walking straight in front of that car. “Are you okay?” the nurse said. “Yeah… I’m just fine. How long have I been out?” I replied. “One hour. It’s a miracle you’re fine. You have no injuries at all, save for a nasty bruise on your left leg. The driver slowed down quite a bit before he hit you.” “Okay… Am I allowed to leave now?” “Yes, you’re clear to leave Mr.”

I walked out. I can’t believe it. Why didn’t they run anymore tests just to make sure? Wait, it’s my anniversary! I need to bolt! Wait… why? Does she need a present? Does she need to be with me? Why am I still with it? I need to leave her… I need to boot her out of my house…

I walked in the front door. I said “Honey… we need to talk.” She replied with “…That can’t be good…” After we sat down, I gripped her hand in mine and said to her “I don’t feel fine with you… I don’t feel okay staying with you….” She was set aback. She said “Heh. You can’t live without me. You love the thrill of staying with me.” I mustered up my strength and said to it “I may love it, but I need to go without it. I can’t live with you.”

“Do you really think you can live without me? Without me… You’re just an isolated piece of trash. Without me to make you unique, you will just fall into the same old pitfall every day. ‘What do I do with myself?’ When you found me, you found your answer.” She said. “Everything you say… is right. But… I can’t… I hate you! I can’t stand you! Get out of my life!” I screamed out. She simply disappeared.

The love, the entertainment… I loved it.

At the same time… I loved to get rid of it.







Look for the hidden meanings in this story. Disscuss. Find the hidden meaning and I'll reveal it.

Cool story bro.

Great story bro. I could feel the conflictions and torment in the protagonists thoughts and emotions. You did your character great justice.

The only thing wrong is that the format is really bad, though Im not sure if it was intentional or not to keep it short for posting. When a new character speaks, you need a new paragraph. Typically ellipses aren't used to portray pauses, instead you should use descriptions of the character's actions or just use commas.

Im having a difficult time constructing exactly what is hidden or even what caused the protagonist's anxiety in the first place. I actually enjoy that fact though, I like being able to look underneath the text for subtle meaning as well as forming my own opinion on the reasons for his uncertainty. If I had to guess, i would say before he met her he was clinically depressed. After finding her and starting a relationship, he was lifted from that hole. Now he fears that he relies on her too much, so he breaks up with her only to realize he never needed her in the first place.

Its also interesting how he referred to her as "it" once. Im wondering what the meaning is for this.

Thanks! I din't really know what most of that means, but I'll keep it all in mind. Most of bits I did understand I've picked up by now, like starting a new paragraph for speeches, because this was a direct copy/paste. I'll definitley reformat it soon.

Quote :

Its also interesting how he referred to her as "it" once. Im wondering what the meaning is for this.

Yes that is very important. Thats all I'm saying :3

Zomg <3 i love fanfic do you have a fanfiction.com or fictionpress account?

No I do not, and this isn't a fanfiction. It's a little story I made.